It’s been too long, friends! Over a month to be exact. While I’ve missed posting about motherhood and creating recipes, it’s been so refreshing to take a full step back, enjoy all of the newborn snuggles and journey through the hills and valleys of this season.
Life with three has been beautiful, magical, tough, exhausting, trying and joyful all at the same time. Every day is completely different and even though I’ve been through having a newborn twice before, it’s still so unpredictable. That’s just motherhood for you. I will say, we have been so spoiled by Sage’s calm demeanor and go with the flow personality (she’s such a third child!) that sometimes we forget we have another baby. When she is fussy or off schedule, I almost find myself more frustrated than I normally get because I’m so used to her being so chill most of the time! I’m like… come on, Sage – you can do better! Ha!
At this point, life with three has definitely become the new norm like I figured it would. I feel like we’ve found our new rhythm. It took awhile for me to get here between juggling three different kids and personalities (with Brett there with me every step of the way), breastfeeding, staying home for the first two months of Sage’s life and not seeing anyone or getting outside help. It was a journey, but it’s a part of Sage’s story and time I will treasure forever.
The hardest part about those first couple of months was not being able to spend as much time with Peyton and Emory which is normally very tough for me. I didn’t feel as much guilt as I did when Emory was born, but still felt my heart breaking and questioned my ability to be a mom to three many times. Poor Emory has had a bit of a rough time not being the baby anymore and we can tell it’s hard for him to see his sister give attention to someone else. He’s such a great little boy and is getting more used to Sage each day.
In the beginning, when it was really tough for me to split my time, I tried really hard to tell myself that it was just a phase and I would eventually have the mental and physical capacity to devote time to my oldest two again. I tried my best to give myself grace and also really allow myself to have that one-on-one time with Sage (especially while Brett was home) because I felt like I owed that to her and myself to just slow down and enjoy one another.
My biggest question to all moms of three before having Sage was always: was the transition from two to three easier than one to two? I would get a variety of answers, so I honestly didn’t know what to expect and every family is different. If I were to answer that question, I’d say going from two to three has been easier for a couple of reasons. First, you’re already responsible for taking care of two other littles, so adding one more to the chaos isn’t that big of a deal. Second, having Peyton help me when I need it and play with Emory has been huge! The fact that they have each other makes such a difference. Third, Sage is similar to a lot of other third children I know and is very content absolutely anywhere, so leaving her in a swing or on her play mat isn’t a big deal when I’m playing or doing something with the other two.
It’s still hard for me to believe that these three babies are ours. I almost pinch myself every day because it truly is a miracle God chose me to be their mom. While I have several moments of failing, being inpatient and getting frustrated, He reminds me that I was made to mother these three and love them in a way that reflects His love for me.
Things will likely continue to be slow around here while I savor this time, so thanks for being patient and continuing to follow along when I do get the chance to share my experience. I hope you all have the best weekend!
Photo by Julia Maruyama Photography