We’re going to be adding an extra place setting to our dinner table because I’m pregnant, and come September, we will be a family of four!! Words cannot express how grateful we are to God for this little blessing and our journey to get to this point. We’d like to thank our families and friends enough for all of their prayers and well wishes during this time.
Everything about this pregnancy has been different than when I was pregnant with our daughter. My pregnancy with her was a breeze, and while this pregnancy has been very tolerable, I’ve definitely felt more nauseous and bloated, and I’ve had major food aversions, making it more difficult than usual to make recipes for the blog. The first few weeks everything other than plain carbs sounded gross, which is why I cut back on posting the past few weeks. Luckily, I’m feeling better now, although I do still crave fries all the time!
Our desire and journey to grow our family was different than the first time, too. It took several months, which was hard for me. Absolutely not as tough as what a lot of women go through (years of trying to get pregnant, miscarriages, etc.), but it still took a toll on me emotionally. I’m not sharing this for sympathy because we didn’t have to wait that long in the grand scheme of things and I know how incredibly blessed we are to be able to grow our family – I’m sharing it in hopes that another mom or woman trying to get pregnant knows she’s not alone in feeling emotionally drained or upset. Trying to get pregnant is stressful and often times exhausting. While it takes time for a majority of women, we force ourselves to believe everyone is super fertile and we’re the not-so-fertile ones.
Even though I had my extremely caring and supportive husband by my side, I still felt alone. I felt like nobody understood what I was going through (even though a lot of people likely did) and I felt strange talking about it with anyone because I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable. I had to smile through every “so, when’s the second one coming?” question and respond, “we’re working on it” even though it brought a slight sting in my heart, reminding me of the several negative pregnancy tests and months that had passed.
Some of you may be thinking I’m crazy for feeling this way because I already have a child. Thing is, our daughter really made us fall in love with parenthood (both the sweet and crazy moments), and we loved the idea of having another child 100 times more because of our experience with her. We wanted her to have a sibling close in age, we wanted to add another little one to our family hugs, and add another two feet to join us on all of our adventures.
Our timing wasn’t God’s timing though, and while it was frustrating, stressful, and sad, I’ve learned He truly makes everything beautiful in time. The time we spent looking at negative test after negative test helped us grow closer, appreciate our daughter more and learn to trust God and His plan. It wasn’t always easy, and I wish I wouldn’t have stressed as much as I did, but with the hurt came beauty.
God has a plan for our lives and our futures, and sometimes it’s not going to sync up with what we want. It’s so hard to accept in the moment, but there’s something truly beautiful in trusting God and enjoying our journey to getting to His plan. I am so sorry if you’re hurting while trying to get pregnant. Please know your desire to be a mom already makes you a mom. It’s the first step all of us take before having children! Don’t get hard on yourself if it’s taking longer than expected. We put so much pressure on ourselves and it’s often that pressure that puts stress on our bodies. Looking back, I really think this is what happened to me.
I hope it’s okay that I was open about our story and thank you so much for reading! I’d love to hear your journey with waiting to get pregnant or grow your family.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11