No Longer Our Baby

As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, I still can’t believe we’ll be a family of four in September. Our journey to get here took longer than expected (you can read about that here), but I am so grateful for the time it took and that we are able to grow our family.

When I begin to think about another child being a part of our life I’m filled with so many emotions. I am happy, looking forward to newborn snuggles, and feeling eager to see him for the first time. I often think about how great all of his first moments will be and how much I’ll enjoy the closeness we’ll share.

With these joyful emotions also come some fear… do I have to go through the whole giving birth thing again? Will we be able to tackle the newborn phase this second time around? Will we ever sleep? Will he be colicky or get upset a lot?

And with the fear comes a tad bit of sadness knowing our daughter will no longer be our baby or our only.

Right now she has our undivided attention. We’re the three amigos, we love our life together, and grow closer every day. It’s been such a fun journey. Being at home more has given her and me the opportunity to bond over many things and spend so much time together that it’s very difficult for me to imagine that changing. It’s also hard for me to fathom that I won’t know exactly what she’s thinking because she can’t communicate all of her emotions yet.

On top of having a little brother, she’ll also be moving into a new room with a big girl bed and we’re also hoping to work on potty training before he arrives. Talk about change. This is the kind of stuff that causes me to feel some sadness associated with giving birth to another child. I never want her to feel neglected or that her world is turned upside down.

Did anyone else feel this way when going from two to three? I know I most likely sound like a crazy person for having these feelings, but I felt the same when I knew we were approaching time that it wasn’t going to be just my husband and me. While our lives are completely different and we often miss our time just the two of us, we love our life as three more than we could have imagined. Our experience going from two to three was a tough transition, but at the same time, it was a beautiful part of life together. It makes me hopeful that we’ll enjoy being a family of four even more than our lives now.

I know the first couple of months with our baby boy will likely be the same – sometimes rough with lots of adjusting, new schedules and chaotic times, but seeing our daughter meet our little one the first time and any other bonding moments they have together will remind me that life just keeps getting better.

Our daughter will ALWAYS be my baby. The little girl who made me a mama and fall in love with this stage of life. Our relationship is something I’ll always keep close to my heart, and even though a new little one is going to take up my time and attention, it will never replace my love or devotion to her.